Any woman who has spent any amount of time in church has heard of this woman…she has no name, and to most of us who have heard of her find that she is illusive and an ideal of perfection. Most of us spend our life time trying to imitate her, be a fraction of what she is. In our eyes we will never fully measure up to how amazing the woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is. What if we are going about this all wrong? What if the message is all wrong? What if we are beating ourselves up trying to reach the level of this woman, and loosing sight of the real message that God is trying to show us?
I have read through a few books that have graced the topic of Proverbs 31; The Excellent Wife, The Fruit of her Hands, Beautiful in God’s Eyes…just to name a few. We spend a lot of time studying and trying to figure out how to do everything that she does, but what if the purpose was not to spend your life trying to do all she does but to be inspired by her?
As Christians it is a lie to walk around and tell others that life should be perfect and that you are a failure if you are not a perfect wife and mother…NEWSFLASH….We are going to fail as wives and mothers. It will happen, you will fall short, you will stumble, you will make mistakes…Our goal is to fix our eyes on Jesus, and allow Him to do things in us that we would never be possible on our own. The Proverbs 31 woman, if she was a real flesh and blood woman; she had hurts and mess ups, she would be awkward and not always say the right thing, she would fall short as a mom. We must remember that even though all the triumphs are listed, as a real woman she fell short too. The beautiful lesson is that God can use that for something greater. Her husband and children rise up and call her blessed…they didn’t rise up and remember the time she yelled at them over something silly, or the times she sat and cried from being tired and feeling defeated. I assure you as a real woman those things happened.
God made you unique, special, loved, and as women we have to realize that. We have to realize that God will do amazing things with us when we are focused on where HE is taking us. The woman in Proverbs had amazing qualities that we can take with us and learn from, and here is the word to remember ‘but’ – “but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Remember ‘but’ – she was all those amazing things ‘but’ without her relationship with Christ NONE of that other stuff matters.
Don’t be defeated by her, be inspired by her…to be all God created you to be! My Life Application Study Bible commentary says it beautifully “Do not see her as a model to imitate in every detail; your days are no long enough to do everything she does! See her instead as an inspiration to be all you can be. We can’t be just like her, but we can learn from her industry, integrity, and resourcefulness.”
As daughters of the king, as wives, and mothers…let us seek after God in all things, respect our husbands and honor them, encourage others, be resourceful, have integrity, and speak with wisdom….and give yourself a little grace.